Ep #021: Help! I don't feel joy when I give!

Episode Transcript

Spencer
I've had this conversation with a number of different folks over the years, and it goes something like this. They say, you know, I'm not really inspired to give anywhere anymore. My church, I'm not sure that they need it. This group that I was giving to over here, they're not getting quite the results that I want to see. And this one over here, you know, their mission just doesn't inspire me anymore. Is that a problem?

Austin
Today, we're going to talk about what happens when we don't feel inspired or enjoy giving. And I think just like a lot of the Christian life, we're going to go through seasons where we're not feeling pleasure. You know, I think it's part of a natural ebb and flow of life. But giving back to God is one way that we practice obedience and obedience drives us to fruitfulness and it reminds us that we're not the main character of the story of our life. We're part of a grander narrative of the kingdom of God and the eternal story of salvation and sanctification and redemption. And the reality is that my giving God doesn't need it. He has a cattle on a thousand hills.
All of it is his. We've said this over and over and over. God owns it all. God provides all of the things that we need. And He does not need me to give my money back to him. But if I'm going to be a conduit of his grace, I can't just hold on to all the gifts. In my obedience, it is good for me to be reminded that I'm not the King. God is the king and He doesn't need me in my obedience. I need His presence. I need to be reminded over and over and over again as I give. This is not to serve my needs. It's so that I can be reminded that I'm simply a steward of all that God has given me.
And so practicing obedience and giving is like practicing obedience in all other areas of life. There are going to be times where it is pleasurable. There's going to be times where I feel inspired. But that doesn't mean I stop giving when I don't feel those ways. And you know, we've got an article or IT white paper on our website about biblical giving.
And if people are wanting to read that, they can go check it out on our website. But, you know, as we think about that, as you and I, we're processing through different aspects of that. You know, I think when we look at culture, the contrast is, well, your happiness is the most important thing. You know, there was this idea of if something doesn't spark joy, then you need to do away with it.

Spencer
Marie Kondo

Austin
I think she's reeled that back.

Spencer
By the third child, I think she said, you know, maybe I can't keep everything perfect,

Austin
Which is true. We can't hold it all together. And so if we're only looking for things that are going to spark pleasure or joy or happiness, or my child is screaming at me for the 14th night in a row because he doesn't want to eat his food. Or that he's fasting for meat tonight. But last night he was fasting from vegetables. The night before that, he was just fasting from dinner. And he's screaming at me. That doesn't spark a whole lot of joy. But in my obedience to Father, I say, okay, I am not the main character. My pleasure and my happiness are not the main things that I seek in my life. I don't deserve the new car. I don't deserve a bigger house, the better vacation. But I can be a conduit of God's grace. And, you know, if you stop giving you do have more money to spend on your own lifestyle.
But those things often don't bring lasting joy either. So giving is not going to bring lasting joy because you're focused on the gift rather than the giver. Well, just similarly, those vacations, those cars, they're not going to last allow lasting pleasure or lasting joy. What are some other things we think about when we think about culture and not feeling joy and inspiration in giving?

Spencer
Well, we come back to where we're at with nonprofits right now, and the bar is set really, really high for nonprofit arts in a lot of ways. There are good things about this. There's a level of disclosure of of transparency that we have now that maybe we didn't see 30 and 40 and 50 years ago. At the same time that level of transparency can bring everything back to the donor and it can say, well, if you're not getting all of the results that I want at the pace that I want, then I'm not getting enough joy. And so I'm just going to pull the plug on this. So it's a really fine line. I think that we have to walk because if we're conduits of God's grace, we want to look at those situations and be wise stewards, but also recognize that moment to moment it's not about our level of inspiration.
It's about obedience, as we've talked about. So it's an interesting dynamic there, in particular as we think about that stewardship, because for some that philanthropic giving can just be something that we only do when it sparks joy when we are inspired. But that's a really dangerous spot to be in because even though that might be more helpful to the poor, in some ways, it still puts us back at the center of the story.
And if I'm not feeling it, then I'm not going to do it. Rather than saying, Oh, I actually do this out of obedience to what God has called me to.

Austin
Let's dig a little bit deeper. Before we dive into our scripture thing and we sort of think about what are maybe some of the sin patterns that can lead us to this place of, Well, I don't feel joy and giving, I don't feel pleasure in giving, therefore, I'm not going to do it. Some of the ones that I surfaced as I was thinking about this work obligation, which can lead to bitterness if I feel that giving is just the obligation I have to do it. God says I have to do it. Therefore I do it.
Well, I'm not again, I'm not looking at God, not looking at what does obedience and look like. But it's just this reaction. Well, the Bible says to tithe, I don't like to do it. It's going to lead to bitterness.
Greed. Well, I could use this money to pay for private school for my kids. I bought that bigger house, so I need to use it for the mortgage or any of those other things. I want it. This life is about me and my pleasure. So I get greedy and I say, okay, that's mine. I'm going to use it.
Pride: I can manage this money way better than that charity can. They're trying to say that they need salaries that are twice the amount that I earn. Why? Why should I give to them? I can do this better.
Fear: Is this where God wants me to give? I think that one can be a really crippling one for Christians because we're constantly questioning, Is this what God wants? And we are unwilling to take steps towards being generous givers because we're afraid. Because we're afraid we're going to mess it up.
But again, God loves us. Yeah. If we start from that place, it's a very different conversation.
Control: I give so that I can be blessed. So it's no longer becomes about enjoying life with God, or being obedient to God. It’s so that I can try to control God and say I give so that you give me more. And that's never a good posture to be in with the Lord.
I think the real question that we want to come to is, as we surface some of these sins, are we even aiming at the right target? You know, we think about our giving Is our aim joy with the Father. Or is the joy the aim that I'm taking my personal satisfaction. Am I seeking more of God and intimacy with Him, or am I seeking my own fulfillment? And when we start to really ask those questions, I think it can lead us into where do I find joy in giving? And it needs to be in the father. Today, we're going to look at Revelation 21:3-5a. One of my favorite authors, James K.A. Smith, describes apocalyptic literature in this way. “It's a genre of scripture that tries to get us to see, or see through, the empires that constitute our environment in order to see them for what they really are.” For a modern context, it's like we're on the Masked Singer, and at the very end of the season they lift up their mask and you can see what celebrity is behind it.
But there's this this veil that's over them. They've changed their face. They change their voice. There's some sort of something clouding the reality behind the mask. And so apocalyptic literature is that unveiling. It's about taking off the mask to see what is truly there. And I think when we enter the book of Revelation, especially at the very end, we think of this as the end of the story.
And the reality is it's the beginning of the story. We are looking into the eternal kingdom that God has established, and it's lifting that veil to what is truly there. And this passage is a really sweet reminder of the life we will get to live and experience with the Lord at the end of our life. But it's also the life that we get to live now.
It's our it's our aim. And so, Spencer, you want to go ahead and read that off for us?

Spencer
Revelation 21:3-5a “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’”
So I think as we look at this passage, Austin, we want to again remind ourselves that this is the beginning as we get to spend life with God, as we have Jesus coming into the world to save us, that we may have the Holy Spirit in us we are walking alongside with Him. And so this image of the future that we have is also being pushed into the world now. So at our church, we say that we are participating with God for the life of the world and we're really participating with God. We focus on that peace because that is what is sustaining us.
That is the energy behind all that we do. Now he's making all things new, and as his kingdom comes into this world. That's what we get to participate with him in. We see that kingdom, that joy eternal, and we see glimpses of that in our present time. And we even feel glimpses of that in our souls. But that's not always the case.
And so we can't just trust in our emotions that we're going to have inspiration every time we write that check otherwise, or we're going to set ourselves up for failure in some profound ways. So again, if our if our aim is experiencing joy in giving, we're going to miss the target. But if our aim is walking alongside Christ and being obedient, then as we move through time, we can have a set of expectations that's more hopeful to guide us.

Austin
Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, coming back to, well, what do I do as a steward how do I then respond? And I think it's easy to be like, well, just start giving. But and that's true. I think as Christians, as stewards, as people who are conduits of God's provision and his grace, the response is to give.
You know, we look at this passage from Revelation. He is making all things new. All of it is his. All of it's going to burn away. This world will not fully pass into the next. It is transient. And so all that I have is transient. So one of the ways that I can be obedient is to be obedient and giving, but it's really obedience to Jesus.
It's constantly turning my eyes, turning my face towards the Father, towards eternity, towards that new Jerusalem. That is the life that we were always meant for. And if I think about just what are my postures, is my posture towards giving, that I want to receive from the Lord. If that's my posture, then I need to repent. If my posture is, I'm afraid that I don't know where to give. I need to repent.
I need to say, God, this is not true life. True life and giving is not for my good and for my benefit. It is for my good and my benefit in that God transforms me into a person that loves his kingdom. But it's not so that I can feel this pleasure of writing a check and seeing my money go somewhere else like, that's not the end.
That's not my goal. My goal is intimacy with the Lord. And just like we look in this passage, it's the dwelling place of God is with man and He will be with them. He will wipe away all the tears. Like that's what our aim is. And if my aim is my money and my aim is my greed, to keep what I want, what I feel like I am doing for this organization, I have the power to give or to take away.
It's not mine to give or to take away. God doesn't need me to accomplish the mission again. He has done it. He has invited us into this. We are not the storytellers. And so as stewards, yes, we respond in obedience by gift. We have responded obedience by giving because God loves us and we turn our face instead of to the gift to the giver who is providing for us.

Spencer
And I think we come back to that sense of fear, and we need to have an appropriate sense of fear. But the fear needs to be in, in a sense of awe towards God, and it needs to be balanced with this idea that actually he said over and over again in scripture, whether we look in the gospels, whether we look in the New Testament, the Old Testament, that when we hold wealth, we put ourselves in peril.
So we don't want to fearfully give just to get ourselves out of peril that way either. But we also have to see that if we withhold and we do not give, then it's not just a neutral decision from a standpoint of holding those resources maybe for later and being able to give more intelligently later. Usually, it's we're putting ourselves at greater peril because we have more resources, which then calls us to want to put our trust in those resources, to want to control that rather than trusting in God.
It's, you know, like Israel going out into the wilderness and wanting to get several days worth of manna instead of getting the one day worth of manna, as the Lord instructed, and trusting that he will show up every day, and then taking two days on before the Sabbath so that they would have it there. So, it's that meticulous trust and the Lord that we really need to have.
Otherwise, we do put ourselves, you know, in peril.

Austin
You know, as I think about closing this out, I there are several times in our life where we've been giving to people or organizations that I just thought, do they need it? Or I don't even remember this person, you know, like maybe we started to give but it has progressed so long that that relationship, it just got distant.
And I think you and I have been challenged recently of who are like really coming back and asking the question, who are the people I'm giving to you? Do I have relationship with them? And because I want to be someone that is invested in the places that I'm giving, I don't want just my money to flow out.
I do because it's obedient to Christ. But I also want to be participating with these people. Not supposed to influence them, but because I want to know them. I want to know, Hey, how are you doing? I remember what it was like to be a missionary. Are you okay? Like, have you taken time to sit with the Lord?
Like, that is really important to me as I think about giving and as I think about the partners that we do have, the ones that I have more intimacy in relationship with. It's a beautiful thing because I can walk alongside them with the Lord in joy of what I'm going to experience with them in eternity and the people they'll influence and the people that I will meet and the kingdom through their work.
As I think about just personally, I want to continue to come back and say, God, I want to be opening with this money because I am a conduit of your gift to me. But I also want to know the people I'm giving to you, and I want to have a deep sense of intimacy with them as well.

Spencer
What you were saying there, Austin, even reminds me that there are times that we don't know where we're supposed to give and rather that rather than that generating fear in us, What we can do is we can go back to James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him asked God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
We don't know often times we are put in situations where we don't know the path that we're supposed to take so we can acknowledge that in humility before the Lord and we can look to Him and we can wait on his direction there. And, you know, as he gives direction, we can respond there. But alongside what you were saying in terms of building those relationships, I become more and more convinced that if I don't have space to pray for the people and organizations on a week to week basis to pray for their well-being, to pray that the gospel would spread, to pray for their mission, whether it's, you know, helping, you know, poor folks, you know, with some kind of need that they might have a micro loan, for instance, with Hope International or, you know, IJM is trying to work with all kinds of different institutions to be able to defend poor people and give them justice legally in a lot of different situations.
If I don't have time to pray for different people, different institutions, and really get behind them and be interested in them, then maybe I'm spread too thin or maybe I need to go back before the Lord and maybe that needs to become a higher priority in my life where I'm carving out more space for that and less space for, you know, Netflix or, you know, whatever else is pulling me away from what he is calling me to.

Austin
Well, as we close out today, we just want to again say thanks for listening. This is a challenging thing for me, is to always re-orient my eyes to eternity, orienting my eyes to the Father. It's something that is never easy because I'm inundated with messages that want me to do something different. They want me to spend my time and my energy and my money in different places. But as we reorient ourselves or as we turn our eyes back to this beautiful kingdom, that’s coming may we be filled with the joy of the Father.
May we be filled with the joy of the spirit. Again, if you found this episode helpful, share with a friend. Talk about it with a friend. These topics are hard to engage, so get in community process together and we hope you enjoy this episode and we'll see you again soon.